Thursday, November 29, 2007

Marie Osmond = Coo Coo Bananas

If you are a living breathing human being with access to the media, you are aware of the phenomenon that is "Dancing with the Stars". I'm a casual viewer of said program and I was pleased with the outcome. I like Helio and Julianne very much. Helio is very charming and an impressive hoofer for a race car driver and Juilianne is just so adorable that I hope Kevin Connelley never lays his stinky paws on her. I would also have been content if Mel won. She was always my favorite Spice Girl and she can really move. But the popularity of Marie Osmond really befuddles me. I know she's very popular with middle aged women/ moms and she seems like a nice enough woman who has been through a lot. However, she also seems a bit crazy. I understand she was raised in a performing household but there's something always off about child stars. I think she's way too close to Donnie and they just seem far too intimate in their interactions. I feel sure that they have at least made out in younger days. Stop calling your sister "hot" and "sexy" on "Entertainment Tonight" Donnie! It's disgusting to hear during my dinner time! I have no problem with the fact that Marie had post-partem - that can't be helped. I don't have a problem with the fact that she's a twice divorced Mormon. But I do have a problem with her lavishing praise on her 16 year old rehab bound son. It's a good thing that he is getting help but geez, 16 years old? This makes me question Marie's parenting skills. Maybe a little less dancing and a little more tough love Marie. And don't get me started on Marie's erratic dance moves and her wind up doll finale free style. I felt like I was watching a car wreck. It was craziest, most assinine thing I've seen since Britney's performance at the VMAs.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Manny the Movie Guy

In my quest to find out more information about "No Country For Old Men" (which is a great movie........but probably even better if your theater has air conditioning and you don't almost black out at the end - Thanks Loews Union Sqaure!), I stumbled upon this fellow's site. His name is Manny and I guess he reviews movies and sometimes interviews movie stars. I was glancing over his page when two things caught my eye. The first is that the background is pale pink with lipstick prints all over. The second thing I noticed is that he said he once had a crush on Josh Brolin. I thought to myself "Who is this guy?" So I can't actually watch his interviews as I am at work and cannot view video in the office but I was able to click on "About Manny" and it was so entertaining that I have decided to share his site with all of you.

While I literally only looked at this site for 5 minutes in total, I am deeming it coo coo worthy.

My favorites bit on the site is:

You can feel Manny’s love for films in his TV and radio segments, or in his weekly paper. From his ratings (he gives kisses—because he loves movies so much, every movie deserves at least a kiss—or a half kiss—just don’t ask him to give the tongue) to the way he calls his viewers, listeners, readers—they’re all “lovely.” Manny also has this infectious giggle that viewers have been imitating but never able to duplicate. And of course, Manny parades around with his magical beret, not because he’s bald, but it’s his lucky hat.So luck, tenacity, and talent led him to where he is now, let’s all wait and see where his American dream will take him next. Let’s just pray it doesn’t turn into an American nightmare (giggles).

Manny strikes me as a Phillippino Ross the Intern with a penchant for headwear. Here's his site:

Monday, November 12, 2007

General Hospital's Black and White Ball

Now I have refrained from commenting on soaps thus far on the blog b/c, well, it ruins my street cred. But alas, it's my duty as a blogger to talk about things that rile me up and "General Hospital" is riling me up. I haven't kept up with the soaps in some time. I generally watch Soapnet with a focus on ABC Daytime during the summer when there is no original programming on the networks or cable. But in recent years, soap operas have been so terrible that I couldn't even stomach watching the asinine acting and ridiculous plots. "General Hospital" is generally higher in quality in terms of storylines and acting so I started watching their Black and White Ball storyline last week to find out what major character died (I love it when a soap is ballsy enough to kill a major character AND keep them dead which is rare). Basically, GH is repeating their old trick from the Hotel Fire storyline where they show some bits in the "present" which let you peek into the catastrophic aftermath of some major event. Then they go back in time, hour by hour, much like 24 to let you see the events leading up to the tragedy. Of course, it looks like someone died at the Ball, they are making it seem like Emily Quartermaine but who knows, they never actually showed us a dead body, only a white masquerade ball mask and a wailing Nicholas Cassadine. Now, my feelings about this storyline are as follows (in no particular order):


1) Nicholas threw this party to celebrate his renewed love with Emily. He wanted to re-create the magic of the Bacchanalia which Emily loved back when she was played by Amber Tamblyn and not hot enough to be paired with Tyler Christopher (who looks so chunky now, good thing he and Vanessa Marcil never tied the knot, she would be cursing her misfortune). Now, that's sweet to bring in history I suppose but is Nicholas forgetting something very important about the Bacchanalia? KATHERINE BELL WAS PUSHED OFF THE PARAPET!!! Everyone knows that!! I mean, I don't think Katherine died (maybe she fake died I cannot recall) but still it was a very tragic end to a "magical night". If the citizens of Port Charles were normal human beings, one would assume that they would always associate the Bacchanalia with Katherine's tragic fall and not the delicious Windamere punch and Gothic architecture.

2) Rick got stabbed through the shoulder with some kind of sword/lance. Fine, fine, I can believe that. A psycho killer is on the loose and stuff like this happens. However, this is where I get angry. He's losing a lot of blood and therefore Dr. Patrick Drake declares if they don't operate on Rick immediately, he will die! Now there is no power, no tools, and minimal gloves. How on earth are they going to do a blood transfusion? With straws and steak knives? This makes absolutely no sense! I mean it's bad enough they did this during the hotel fire, stitching HIV positive Robin up with a basic sewing kit and towels found around the hotel, but something about a blood transfusion I find more ridiculous. I mean it makes no sense! Just kill Rick and be done with it than make me watch this silly story. Even "Grey's Anatomy" is more realistic than this.

3) I miss Lucy Coe, she would have been buckets of fun at this Ball. Someone give Lynn Herring a call! She's comedy gold.

4) Rumors are swirling that Luke is the one to die from a heart attack. Give me a break Soap Opera Digest. You are so full of it. If Tony Geary left the show or was let go, I would be compelled to write an angry letter, err email, to ABC and possibly stop watching the show altogether.


5) Robin Scorpio looks gorgeous in this story. Her gown, her make-up, her hair - everything works. I have never seen her look better! Nice job hair, make-up, and wardrobe department! She definitely looks better than Leyla for the past few weeks.

6) That kid who play Johnny Zacchara is hot and can act. I like him with Lulu. Just when I think I really like the guy Lulu is paired with, GH brings on an even better love interest for her. But they must be careful, Lulu is apparently the only suitable young woman in town and she may end up with quite a slutty reputation with all these men around - Logan, Spinelli, the younger brother of Max, Johnny. She's only one woman.

Kanye West's Mother Dies

I read this morning that Kanye West's mother died unexpectedly during cosmetic surgery. That is sad news but also cringe-worthy and awkward. What a terrible way to die. They aren't publicly releasing what kind of cosmetic surgery it was and probably may not ever reveal that information but I feel like it's safe to assume it was probably something frivolous and unnecessary like liposuction. The idea that you risked your life for superficial purposes is very depressing. Kanye's mother was quite young as well - only 58. It does remind you that one should not just jump onto the plastic surgery bandwagon just because you can b/c there are some real risks involved any time you go under the knife.

Friday, November 9, 2007

Eww ala Summer Roberts

Why don't some women believe in the courtesy flush or washing their hands after using the bathroom? Ugh!!

It's even more disheartening than seeing how many cans my fellow employees have donated for the can drive thus far.

Cormac McCarthy

I feel there have been great demands on coo-coo to come up with new material. Apparently, I have few fans but the ones I do possess are a passionate lot. Or maybe they are just really bored at work. I have been sort of busy/angry at work lately. I have primarily been managing my underling and then spend my free time stewing about how much I hate my job and contemplating how far I can go being snarky at work before people start losing good will with me. Apparently, too far involves me declaring that our company bonuses are the same thing as not receiving bonuses at all, commenting that I feel my new project will be the second worst one I've ever done (in terms of stress and effort not the quality of my work), not laughing at people's weird jokes/backhanded compliments, and then saying quite loudly "I don't need a man to put together a box!" That one really bugged me. What kind of woman can't put together her own goddamned cardboard box? Just read the instructions and do it yourself! God!!! I hate having to be all political and always be charming with your co-workers, sometimes I just want to be left alone!

Anyway, I think I have been in self-pity mode and nothing really struck me as interesting enough to write. But I mustn't disappoint my fans. So here we go.

Let's see, I just finished a book which I absolutely adored. It was Cormac McCarthy's "The Road." It was incredible. I was a little bit embarrassed initially to be reading it on the subway/path because it was a more recent paperback edition which meant it had the Oprah book club stamp on the right hand corner. Cringe. Now, I love Mama O. I think she's swell. I think the mistakes made at her elite girls' school in Africa were terrible but she is doing what she can to rectify the situation. Oprah's a busy lady and does a lot of great things. I don't mind if she preaches or turns people against meat or makes otherwise sane women freak out when she gives out freebies on her show. B/c you know what? I would freak out too around Oprah. She is so powerful and charismatic and say what you will about her being pompous, etc but she's undeniably a smart, strong woman who does inspiring things. I once saw Oprah outside the premiere of "The Color Purple" on Broadway. I was so close to her that I could have literally lunged forward a few feet and touched her. But b/c I'm not a creepy stalker and I don't believe in exercise, I refrained. But it was thrilling to be in her presence. I also think they were must spray paint/shellac her make up on everyday b/c it was flawless and everyone knows Oprah's face looks VERY different without make up. Anyway, the book was about a father and son who are living in this post apocalyptic world. We don't know quite what happened. I think McCarthy is being purposely vague in this respect which I like. Was it a nuclear holocaust? Was this a case of humans destroying nature over time with their greed and violent tendencies? Was there a worldwide virus? Did zombies/vampires take over our land? Probably not the last one b/c this isn't a bad sci-fi horror movie. Regardless, there aren't many humans left walking the earth. Some of the people left are "bad guys", desperate individuals who will do anything to survive. Times are tough - food is scarce, there's no electricity, you can't stay in one place too long, there's no running water - it's just horrible. People have turned to cannibalism and violent theft in order to sustain themselves. It's really gritty and pretty frank about what people need to do in order to survive. Now our father and son protagonists are "good guys" b/c they don't eat people or intentionally (ideally) hurt others. The book is all about their journey, trying to survive and navigate their lives and the love that sustains them. It brings up all these questions about what you would do if you were placed in such a desperate situation and also what is the true meaning of love. I don't want to spoil the book for 2 people reading this blog b/c I've already recommended this book to them, but I will say this. I was very hesitant to read Cormac McCarthy. I had heard good things about him but I always associate him with his border books (which I haven't read). I figured he talks about cowboys and the open range and old fashioned boys and values. This is stuff I just can't relate to. I had heard he was very graphic and violent and I just didn't think his writing style would suit me. Initially, when I started the book, I noticed that McCarthy used very sparse prose. Simple but well done sentences and a lot of back and forth dialog between father and son. I think I tend to enjoy overly verbose stuff as that is the type of person I am. However, this was a really quick and engaging read. I immediately became engrossed in the book and just fell in love with it. It was so well written and the story was just amazing. I was emotionally moved and I found it truly thought provoking. It was one of those books that you can't wait to finish (I wanted to give it 5 stars on goodreads, which is basically friendster/facebook/myspace for books, - a rarity for me) yet at the same time, you don't want to finish b/c that means you cannot read any more of something that brought you so much pleasure. I loved this book so much that I wish I was a man so I could give this book to my father (much like that sorta cute hippish college kid on ER gave his dad played by sorta hot Stanley Tucci) and 5 years later, after I finally harassed him into actually completing a fiction book (my pops don't read much), we would hug each other and cry about the love between a father and son. Sigh.

Cormac McCarthy also wrote "No Country For Old Men" which comes out in theaters today. It stars Javier Bardem and Josh (yawn) Brolin aka Mr. Diane Lane aka James Brolin's son aka Babs's step-son aka Minnie Driver's ex aka dude who wound up in 2 heavyweight movies this fall wearing a crazy thick mustache. The movie is getting great reviews and I'm going to see it tonight. I contemplated reading the book first, but time was of the essence and I decided that I would take the visual cliff's notes way out on this one. If I like it, I will read the book after. Now, here is what I am thinking about. Javier Bardem: hunky and smoldering or weird and tough or ugly beautiful? I mean I think it's universally agreed upon that he is a great actor. Penelope Cruz seems to think his tonsils are hot. But I'm on the fence about his looks. He's big and hulking and he has talent. He has presence which sometimes translates into sex appeal. But his face is kind of rough and ape-ish. I'm not sure if I dig that. He looks like he could take a tree trunk and break it in half with his bare hands and then make a chair out of that wood. That dreadful Ichabod Crane hairdo he sports in "No Country" doesn't do him any favors either. But I just can't decide if I want to jump on the Bardem bandwagon or not. He is also going to star in "Love in the Time of Cholera" this year which I will probably see so I think I'm going to end up seeing more of Javier than ever before.